The Secret to Success in the Classroom whether in person, virtual, or hybrid is…..?

The hot topic: open schools or Nah? While I have my own opinion on that, this article is about the fact that school must still go on, whether it’s distance learning or in-person learning, or some hybrid model, schools in session folks, and it always will be! In these uncertain times the million-dollar question, is how do I ensure a quality learning experience and create the environment to do so? That is a loaded question because so much goes into that, so let me lower your expectations now because that will not be answered fully in this 10-minute read. But what will be discussed is a critical element in the success of any classroom.

The no. 1 driving factor for the success of any classroom experience is the relationship that scholars have with the people responsible for guiding them on their educational journey. Building strong relationships is not to be confused with having scholars like you. That my friends is not your job! Your job is not to be their friend, but it is to be a friendly adult. It is not to be the enemy but it is to be an influencer and guide. People don’t follow people they don’t trust! And that’s facts!

I see it all the time, teachers come in trying to relate to children with pop culture references, giving out stickers and rewards at random and without purpose, doing whatever they think will cause children to like them and then what happens?, when the teacher really needs the children to do the right thing or dig in to the lesson and be challenged, the kids turn on them. Why? Because they never respected the teacher. The teacher was the cool teacher until the teacher actually decided that they needed to do some work. Or there’s the flip side, there’s the teacher who makes no effort to get to know scholars, but focuses solely on delivering the content, causing the classroom to have a cold, us vs. them, and sterile feel. And when scholars disengage the teacher says they lack motivation, they can’t reach the kids, or they simply don’t want to learn.

Pop culture references, candy bribes, distancing yourself from scholars, and talking slang on occasion don’t make you relatable they make you seem immature, fearful, gullible, and weak. What opens the door to strong relationships and makes you relatable is being your authentic self, it’s being honest, it’s in taking the time to listen, and it’s in understanding and getting to know your scholars. These things build trust and trust is the glue that creates strong relationships.

Building strong relationships doesn’t mean be a pushover. It doesn’t mean turning a blind eye to misbehavior and allowing scholars to do whatever they want in your classroom or in the school building for that matter. What it does mean is being fair, being consistent, and being supportive. It’s being clear: say what you mean and mean what you say! Be honest and clear with scholars about what you expect, where they are, where you are, and where you are all going. This way everyone knows what they’re working on and how to achieve shared goals.

And guess what in those moments when you make mistakes, when you say a student’s name wrong, or get stumped on solving an equation, or give a demerit or consequence to the wrong student for talking, admit and acknowledge your mistake, be vulnerable, apologize, and move on. This allows students to see you as human. To see you as imperfect and to be able to extend you compassion. This will allow scholars to relate to you, because they see that you are not the all-knowing, superhuman that they get excited for when they see you in the supermarket or at Macy’s in the mall, but they realize that you are a normal human being with flaws and all just like them. It shows them how to respond with grace when we make mistakes and it shows them that it’s okay to make mistakes. It shows them that when we make a mistake, and our person is not diminished in anyway, but instead a mistake is an opportunity to learn.

Another way to build strong relationships is to take the time to get to know your scholars and allow them to be. Meaning let them be who they authentically are and not who you want them to be or think they should be. Let them know that you see them, you value them, be willing to hear their experiences as people and how they are experiencing you and your class. One way to do this is through classroom experience surveys. Give the surveys each quarter to see how scholars are experiencing you and your class. Sometimes you may think that you and your teaching style are the bomb.com and then you take a survey and find out…ummm. Not so much my friend! When you get the results don’t be angry, don’t be petty, but be willing to be the student, be willing to hear your scholar’s voice, discuss the results in class, and make the needed changes. Also use this discussion time to share feedback with them on how you are experiencing them. Doing class experience surveys allows scholars to practice open and honest communication skills. It creates a safe space, and allows scholars to feel heard.

Let them know that you think they are awesome, just as they are. Consistently share with them their strong qualities and patterns in their behavior that you notice so they start to get a better understanding of who they are as a person and learner.

What I often hear from educators when I say these things about relationships is who has time for this? But 1. You have to make time. The success of your scholars and you are depending on it. 2. You actually don’t have to do anything additional besides teach. The art of teaching and building relationships go hand in hand. Building relationships is in the small interactions that take place daily. It’s in how you greet scholars when they come in the classroom, it’s in how you respond to their questions, it’s in how often you circulate and actually check in on scholars to see if they are grasping the material, it’s in how often you praise them for strong responses or how you support when they are struggling, it’s in the way you deliver your lesson, how you call on students to answer questions and how you ask questions. These seemingly small interactions throughout the course of the day have really large effects on the school and classroom environment.

Building relationships is also in how we respond when scholars make mistakes. When you ask a question in class and a scholar gets it wrong do you show frustration, do you abruptly call on another scholar fishing for the right answer, or do you follow up with a snarky remark? Are scholars even allowed to make mistakes or do you give a consequence because they were not at the right place in the text when you called on them? All these interactions communicate what you believe to be true about your scholars and they will determine the strength of your relationships with them.

Understand that building relationships with your students is not a means to an end but instead it is the doorway to the beginnings of life lessons, self-mastery, and all the tools that our core content cannot teach our scholars on their own. Building relationships with our scholars gives us the opportunity to see our children for who they are, empower them to be their highest selves, and allows us to make the difference we would like to make in this world. So please, invest in building relationships!